Sunday, October 31, 2004
heh today was a very satisfying day. went swimming with a fren, after which we relaxed by the poolside to suntan to prep myself for the beach tmr :) . yea this is the 2nd consecutive day i got to suntan amidst the rainy season. heaven must be really kind to me to rain only after i finished suntanning...haha. we proceeded to soak in the jacuzzi and wrapped up the afternoon with a steam bath. wat a relaxing and restorative way to spend an afternoon!
2 of my frens got into the subaru impreza wrx challenge! damn lucky! they were one of the 256 drawn out of the 1000+ shortlisted by the radio stations. my legs are already tired from standing from 6pm to 3am even with a dinner break in between. those guys are great~. they only have a 5min break every 6 hours to eat, shit, smoke, stretch blah blah blah. haha...tink i will also push myself if i were in their shoes ;) . the prize is a 90k impreza wrx leh! an improvement from the impreza last year. anyway the atmosphere was amazing. at 10pm they had a bonus 5 min break for the car which has the best coordinated dance. we cheered, whistled, made a helluva noise for my fren's car when the emcees asked for the audience's opinion on which car had the best dance. the judges were effectively swayed and our fren got an extra 5 mins break! whoa~~! shall drop by again in the morning to see how they're getting on before heading down to sentosa tmr. anyone wanna come along in the evening too ;) ?
thoughts running wild3:30 AM
Saturday, October 30, 2004
refreshingly true...
If you ask most couples who are engaged why they're getting married, they'll say: "We're in love." I believe this is the #1 mistake people make when they date. Choosing a life partner should never be based on love. Though this may sound not politically correct, there's a profound truth here. Love is not the basis for getting married. Rather, love is the result of a good marriage. When the other ingredients are right, then the love will come. Let me say it again: You CANNOT build a lifetime relationship on love alone. You need a lot more.
QUESTION #1:> > Do we share a common life purpose? Why is this so important? Let me put it this way: If you're married for 20 or 30 years, that's a long time to live with someone. What do you plan to do with each other all that time? Travel, eat & jog together? You need to share something deeper & more meaningful. You need a common life purpose. Two things can happen in a marriage. You can grow together, or you can grow apart. 50 percent of the people out there are growing apart. To make a marriage work, you need to know what you want out of life - bottom line - & marry someone who wants the same thing.
QUESTION #2: Do I feel safe expressing my feelings & thoughts with this person? This question goes to the core of the quality of your relationship. Feeling safe means you can communicate openly with this person. The basis of having good communication is trust- i.e. trust that I won't get "punished" or hurt for expressing my honest thoughts & feelings. A colleague of mine defines an abusive person as someone with whom you feel afraid to express your thoughts & feelings. Be honest with yourself on this one. Make sure you feel emotionally safe with the person you plan to marry.
QUESTION #3: Is he/she a mensch? A mensch is someone who is a refined & sensitive person. How can you test? Here are some suggestions. Do they work on personal growth on a regular basis? Are they serious about improving themselves? A teacher of mine defines a good person as "someone who is always striving to be good & do the right thing." So ask about your significant other: What do they do with their time? Is this person materialistic? Usually a materialistic person is not someone whose top priority is character refinement. There are essentially two types of people in the world: People who are dedicated to personal growth & people who are dedicated to seeking comfort. Someone whose goal in life is to be comfortable will put personal comfort ahead of doing the right thing. You need to know that before walking down the aisle.
QUESTION #4: How does he/she treat other people? The one most important thing that makes any relationship work is the ability to give. By giving, we mean the ability to give another person pleasure. Ask: Is this someone who enjoys giving pleasure to others or are they wrapped up in themselves & self- absorbed? To measure this, think about the following: How do they treat people whom they do not have to be nice to, such as waiters, bus boys, taxi drivers, etc. How do they treat parents & siblings? Do they have gratitude &> > appreciation? If> > they don't have gratitude for the people who have given them everything, you cannot expect that they'll have gratitude for you-who can't do nearly as much for them! Do they gossip & speak badly about others? Someone who gossips cannot be someone who loves others. You can be sure that someone who treats others poorly, will eventually treat you poorly as well.
QUESTION #5: Is there anything I'm hoping to change about this person after we're married? Too many people make the mistake of marrying someone with the intention of trying to "improve" them after they're married. As a colleague> > of mine puts it, "You can probably expect someome to change after marriage .. for the worse!" If you cannot fully accept this person the way they are now, then you are not ready to marry them. In Conclusion, dating doesn't have to be difficult & treacherous. The key is to try leading a little more with your head & less with your heart. It pays to be as objective as possible when you are dating, to be sure to ask questions that will help you get to the key issues. Falling in love is a great feeling, but when you wake up with a ring on your finger, you don't want to find yourself in trouble because you didn't do your homework.
thoughts running wild1:33 AM
Friday, October 29, 2004
hmm...sylvester did ok i guess, considering he's singing really out of his genre. comparably better than the rest(except for olinda), who tried songs that were too difficult and ended up making a mess...haha. i was so irritated by chris' singing and i couldnt wait for him to stop even before he finished...*pui*. well...sylvester did shine. in a night where everyone underperformed (olinda being the exception again).
received an assignment for a show at happy(another gay pub) on the 14th. sigh...y is there so many activities coming up on the 14th? primers camp, work, fren jio me go kl. tink the show would have to come last since im not really short of money rite now. and also because my body is not up to it yet :-(
i think i dun dare to go to the beach for the time being. im so fair now! tink i'll stick out like a sore thumb at the beach where everyone is so tanned and im like reflecting sunlight...haha. tats y im resolved to do some suntanning at the pool before heading down to the beach. and that will start later today :) . send a prayer for me that it wont rain ya ;) ?
thoughts running wild2:22 AM
Thursday, October 28, 2004
blogger was down for the whole night! *sheesh* just when i wanted to blog coz i had enough of studying.
today sociology paper was rather easy. this was the only paper i walked in with totally no stress. haha still remembered how jittery i was before the anatomy paper. that was so unlike me. hmm...tink i wasnt myself those few days anyway. saw huishan at the library again yesterday. i saw her leaving the library when i finished my gym on tue also. in fact i read/hear abt her going to the library everyday since like 2 weeks ago. wow she's really studying hard. hope her effort will reap results :) . received an unexpected call from someone while at the library...made my day ;)
had some of the best workouts i had in months this week. training alone. not that im blaming my training partners, but just felt this way loh. maybe its coz i can totally immerse myself into the weights. haha sounds hardcore eh? hey u guys i still wanna gym with you all, dun be mistaken. i need the motivation too.
yea~ tonight will be the night. to watch sg idol live. haha wat did you all expect? go go sylvester! show them what you're made of!
thoughts running wild6:09 PM
Wednesday, October 27, 2004
i always have this craving for the 7-11 maggi instant mashed potatoes whenever im doing late night studying. so unhealthy~! today was no exception also...sigh.
was super unproductive today. spent most of the day sleeping. only managed to study after the champion. speaking of the champion, i was totally disgusted by the stupid "ivan jackson's" background. hey mediacorp needs better scriptwriters la. how dramatic is tat? he became a swimming coach coz he saw ppl who couldnt swim died in the sea when his ship sunk? ha ha ha. ok maybe i just keep comparing it to the standards of foreign productions. but y cant they use a better script when its supposed to be a major production? i mean they would have done better saying he wanted to accomplish his late father's ambition of training an elite swimmer. doesnt tat sound familiar too? oops its either too dramatic or too routine...haha. shouldnt be so critical hor, but i guessed tats just the trait of a virgo :-( . tinking back i might be able to find someone who will believe tat kind of story in real life. hor qinhui? *winks*
ok i shall sleep early again with the hope tat i'll be able to cover more chapters tmr. not tat it works in this manner anyway ;)
thoughts running wild2:20 AM
Tuesday, October 26, 2004
whoa~ had a busy day today. met up with derrick to go to the sch gym at 11am. met up with the primers rock climbing com at 130pm at safra toa payoh. went to fren's house at tampines to take something from him and rushed back to yio chu kang in a cab to play tennis with another fren. after that still have to rush home to watch the champion *bish*
gym. i tink without the temptations of junk food these coming 2 months i'll be able to train more effectively and come up with some results. but then again, i've been saying this since eons ago...haha. and yea, i dun feel my current protein supplement is working anymore. dunno wats the reason. maybe my body has gotten used to it. maybe its my detrimental lifestyle thats hindering my progress. maybe it wasnt effective in the 1st place. whatever it is, im gonna change to a more expensive(effective) brand i used to take when my current supply finishes and clean up my act.
tennis. yea feels so gd to be playing tennis again. haven touch a tennis racquet since j2. even more jubilant to be able to get back my touch so quickly. still having problems with my backhand but its nothing that cant be solved with a few more games ;)
the champion. the initial excitement has worn off. still i tink i'll continue to follow the series even though it din turn out to be as good as i expected. but its quite a bother to drag myself home before 9 every night to watch the show. i tink one of these days, i'll miss one episode due to some stuff and that will be the start to a series of missed episodes which will eventually lead to total indifference. mediacorps, too bad... :p
hmm...tmr shall be a study day. for my sociology paper on thu. and i shall sleep early tonight to prepare for tmr...haha. zZzZZzz.....
thoughts running wild2:31 AM
Monday, October 25, 2004
turned out the that illusion of the stock going to rise again is just tat, an illusion. fortunately i did not buy it tis time and saved myself a massive fall. but im still such an idiot to allow myself to almost be deceived. haa i believed this must be bad karma for my past related misdeeds.
wat?! how is it possible that man u managed to win arsenal? not by one goal, but 2! just look at the standard of soccer they are playing. how did man u playing their lousy game managed to score 2 against undoubtedly the best team in the epl? haha im going to attract lotsa flame for this post. but im still gonna do it ;). man u sucks! for the record, im not even a arsenal fan.
the jb trip had to be cancelled coz my buddy couldnt make it. i was supposed to give him a treat and since he wont be free, we had to settle for another day. ended up catching up on my sleep, finished "tuesdays with morrie" and called up the primers for the rock climbing thingy. the response wasnt really gd. in fact, its quite bad. hope to hear gd news from the rest tmr when we meet up. tuesdays with morrie was really thought provoking. its abt an old sociology professor views of impt stuff in life and of life itself when his days were numbered. there was this chapter they talked abt detaching urself from the experience. shall end my post today with a quote from morrie :-) . food for thought....
"but detachment doesnt mean you dont let the experience penetrate you. on the contrary, you let it penetrate you fully. if you hold back on the emotions, you can never get to being detached, you're too busy being afraid. by throwing youself into these emotions, by allowing yourself to dive in, all the way, over your head even, you experience them fully and completely. you know what pain is. you know what love is. you know what grief is. and only then can you say ,'all right. i have experienced that emotion. i recognise tat emotion. now i need to detach from that emotion for a moment.' "
thoughts running wild4:56 AM
Sunday, October 24, 2004
argh! my planned sentosa day never materialise. i slept at 8am tis morning and woke up after 1pm. felt there was no point going since it was so late. arranged to go town jalan jalan later with some friends and went back to sleep ;).
i became the latest laughing stock of my frens for the day. all becoz of a stupid bmw (for those of u who know the story). we made a whole joke out of the incident and couldnt stop laughing for a long while. its usually me who is doing the suaning so today's my retribution..haha. one such instance was when we were crossing the road. suddenly my fren shouted "hey!". i stood rooted to the spot and looked to my right, expecting to see some car to whizz past. nothing of the sort happened and my fren couldnt stopped laughing at my stunned reaction. he then pointed to a bm. so tats what he shouted hey for. to tink i actually tot he was warning me abt an incoming car..haa. tat was followed by mentions of bm at every opportunity and also of a bm logo keychain for bday present. haha must really hand it to my frens for their creativity :).
sometimes really hate going to orchard on weekends. ever so crowded. the seats at cineleisure's pastamania were already cramped as it is and its not helped by the weekend crowd. we were asked to leave almost as soon as we finished our food :-( . anyway managed to catch white chicks. tat was a damn hilarious show. couldnt stop laughing throughout the show. guys go catch it if u haven done so, definately worth the money.
realised my recent posts lacked continuity between paragraphs and sentences. hmm...dunno wats happening to me. maybe like what vivian says, its difficult to write when u cant be totally truthful... hmm...will strive to improve my posts in the future. till then, im looking forward to my routine seafood feast in jb tmr. adios~
thoughts running wild1:35 AM
Saturday, October 23, 2004
i dun understand myself really....
there are 2 stocks to invest in. one is rising and is guaranteed to continue rising. the other stock is unstable and may rise or drop. why did i choose to buy the unstable one?
someone told me tat maybe its because the one tat is rising has a low base price to start with and even if it rises, the dividends wont be high. however the unstable one has a high base price and any rise or drop will see a huge profit or loss respectively.
after making a loss on the unstable stock, it is now showing signs of rising again. why do i feel tempted to try my luck once again? are man always so stupid.....?
hai~ i am not making sense. not even to myself....
thoughts running wild8:29 AM
Friday, October 22, 2004
went shopping in town today and missed out on sg idols once again :( . will someone tell me how did sylvester fare?
nevertheless the shopping trip was fruitful. went zara, g2000 and topman. got 4 tops for under $120...wat a bargain. zara just have so many nice clothes that i want!! i promised myself to go back once i get my pay and the ers thingy. yes, tats rite. i can finally claim the ers liao. why was i born 3 years late...? if not i would have gotten so much more money. anyway will be getting extra $200 than most ppl coz of my nsmen status. its in time like this that you feel that ns is not wasted. hmm...on hindsight no matter wat the government do will never be enough to compensate us for the 2 yrs of our life we squandered away ;p.
hmm...time to sleep. recently my biological clock had been turned upside down. sleeping after 4am and waking up way after noon. haha guess thats the effect of not having classes. for those of u still having exams, endure! theres always light at the end of every tunnel. freedom awaits! hahaha....
thoughts running wild5:16 AM
Thursday, October 21, 2004
whoa~ lotsa eye candy on the new serial the champion. hope i'll grow to like the show in other ways as the serial goes on. must support ok? its our own local ou xiang ju..haha.
yesterday ktv session was great. had so much fun singing f.i.r songs. too bad the waiting for you mtv is not out yet. wanted to sing till 5am so that we can go for early breakfast then proceed to take the 1st bus home (for those of u who dunno, cineleisure k box at level 8 close at 5am). well, we couldnt last tat long. not because we had lost our voice (erm, almost..), but because i fell asleep on the couch at ard 2+. argh!! i was so tired tat i did the impossible. how can one sleep in such a noisy environment? anyway my frens woke me at 4am and told me they were too tired to carry on also. still ended up making our way back by cab :( . not that i mind anyway, singing at kbox is dirt cheap on mon and tue. kudos to kbox for coming up with members and men's night thingy. nowadays they even give complementary lollipops and porridge in the middle of the night.
someone told me that she thought the previous entry was written by me. huh? really seemed so meh? i tink if i can write all that i either 1)been dumped like countless times and have too much time on my hand 2)am a professional love consultant. haha anyway i took the paragraph from wat my friend post on my friendster bulletin. found it meaningful and quite true.
ok gonna look forward to watching singapore idol tomorrow. hope i can finally watch it and not from some video clips. oops tink i'll be out again tmr...damn! hmm...theres still a glimpse of hope tat i'll be able to catch it outside....
ps: i need to go to the beach!! getting so fair now...haven been there in weeks!!
thoughts running wild1:56 AM
Wednesday, October 20, 2004
waiting for the new chn 8 9pm serial to air, bored~
When you think of your past love, you may view it as a failure. But when you find a new love, you view the past as a teacher. In the game of love, it doesn't really matter who won or who lost. What is important is you know when to hold on and when to let go! Everything happens for the best. If the person you love doesn't love you back, don't be afraid to love someone else again, for you'll never know unless you give it a try.
===>Love strives in hurting. If you don't get hurt, you don't learn how to love. Love doesn't hurt all the time. Though the hurting is still there to test you, to help you grow. Don't find love, let love find you. That's why it's called falling in love because you don't force –“yourself to fall”. You just fall.
===>You cannot finish a book without closing it's chapters. If you want to go on, then you have to leave the past as you turn the pages. Love is not destroyed by a single failure or won by a single caress. It is a lifetime venture in which we are always learning, discovering and growing. The greatest irony of love is letting go when you need to hold on and holding on when you need to let go. We lose someone we love only when we are destined to find someone else who can love us even more than we can love ourselves.
===>On falling out of love, take some time to heal and then get beckon the horse. But don't ever make the same mistake of riding the same one that threw you the first time. To love is to risk rejection, to live is to risk dying, to hope is to risk failure.But “risk” must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is risk nothing!!!! To reach for another is to risk involvement, to expose your feelings is to expose true-self, to love is to risk not to be loved in return.
===>Loving someone means giving them the freedom to find his way, whether it leads towards you or away from you. Love is a painful risk to take but the risk must be taken no matter how scary or painful, for only then you'll experience the fullness of humanity, and that is LOVE.
===>Only love can hurt your heart, fill you with desire and tear you apart. Only love can make you cry and only love knows why. *If you're not ready to cry, if you're not ready to take the risk, if you're not ready to feel the pain, then you're not ready to fall in love. ~ There was a time in our lives when we became afraid to fall in love 'coz every time we do, we get hurt, i figured that's why it's called falling in love
thoughts running wild8:38 PM
Tuesday, October 19, 2004
yea!! so many things to be happy abt. exams are finally over. actually still got one more paper next thu but tat one wont take any effort to pass :) . and I have finally started a blog. erm…im like the last person in the world to blog rite? tink it was sheaufen’s fren vivian who inspired me. she writes really well and her blog is so interesting. it brought out the passion that I once had in me – writing. expressing myself in words. narrating events. yup, tats it. not that im fantastic at it. been so caught up with life that I have not had time to do the things I once liked. i have also promised myself to finish “Tuesdays with Morrie” by the end of this week. cant believe I took more than a month to finish only 90 pages. I was never this slow. the last thing to be happy abt is that I have gotten to understand some stuff that’s been troubling me. more relieved than happy ba. but at least I can get myself to let go now…even though I felt so lousy and cheated.
hey i said my exams are over rite? so wat am i doing at home blogging? actually wanted to sleep coz im like so tired, yet i cant bring myself to waste time sleeping after exams!! haha so contradicting rite. might be going k box for another long ktv session tonight...havent sang like crazy in a long while. and i want to see the anson hu's "waiting for you" mtv. not becoz i adore him. tat would be so gross. tink i would rather adore myself..haha. till then...
thoughts running wild4:04 PM
oh my god!! i almost had to repeat my elective module next sem.
i was like studying in school for tomorrow's impt anatomy exam and was totally oblivious to the fact that i had a end semestral test for my elective module (life sciences). so it was that i was in the library until huishan came to find me at 4pm. it was a stroke of luck that she casually ask me what elective i was doing. she was astonished by my reply, "dont you have a test now? my fren just left for his." it havent dawned on me that the whole school of health science are sharing the same elective time slot and i just brushed it aside since her fren are in a different course from me. however i called my fren just to make sure. no answer. 2 more calls. still no answer. something was amiss. wth!? it struck me that i've seen ppl from her course during my elective lecture. how could we possibly have a different test date? i packed my stuff while trying to figure out my next course of action. i wasnt prepared for the test even though its going to be an open book test. i haven attended a single lecture tis half of the sem. hell, i din even buy the notes for the lecture nor did i bring the notes from the previous half of the sem. i rushed to the bookstore to buy the 2nd set of notes, all the while praying that the questions would only be from this set of notes. i reached the lecture hall 20 mins late. i never felt so conscious of myself when i opened the thick heavy door of the LT. not even when i was 1 hour late for a lecture. i was prepared for weird stares but thankfully no one could be bothered with me as they were busy scribbling their answers. the lecturer signalled to me that there is one empty seat at the front row and i had no choice but to walk down the entire stretch of staircase hoping to attract as little attention as possible. i flipped through the paper and realised materials from the 1st set of notes are needed. damn. asked the lecturer for help and being the nice person that she always was, helped me borrow the notes from another student for some time. so it was for that 70 min (instead of 90 min for the test) i read through my notes for the 1st time, trying to make sense of wat it was saying and at the same time writing down the answers. i din even had time for a sip of water.
when the whole thing ended, i was still in a state of shock. couldnt believe something like that could have happen to me. y din i check the module time table. sigh...i was expecting my fren to remind me so i have only myself to blame. at least should still be able to scrape through ba. totalled with the previous test should still be able to get reasonably ok grades. i called huishan and she was still ard in sch, waiting for me to finish to pass me the textbook i was supposed to borrow from her. argh so felt so bad that she had to wait. even more indebted to her liao :( . no amount of thanks would have expressed my gratitude for her for saving me from failing my module. huishan, i owe ya huh~ :-)
thoughts running wild1:06 AM
