Friday, October 07, 2005
finally finished my statistics project after meeting up with my group from monday to wednesday. it was very physically draining to go down to school after one whole day of work. after reaching home around 10pm, i really have no energy to write my compentency reports. im so tired that i never fail to concuss on the bus ride home. keep knocking into the person beside me and i think i actually drool on a few occasions. so super embarrassing. i dont have to meet up for project today and look what i have been able to do. took a 4 hours nap (!), wrote 2 compentency reports and found time to blog.
is it really so hard for me to confirm my feelings for a person? other guys seem to have no problem with it. they can woo a ger they know for 5 minutes (exaggeration lah :p). i always seem to be thinking too much. do i really like the ger or do i like the feeling of being in love, protecting a person or even just for company? and i always managed to convince myself its not the person i really like and give up. there's another problem. sometimes i dont even realise i like a person until people around me ask me why i am so nice to a particular person. then i will start wondering...
had some mixed remarks about us in clinicals. one of the radiographers sort of praised me about my technique. he mentioned that among this batch of ppl at cgh, im one of the few people who knows my work. hehe so happy. im not boasting here lah...just that its very seldom that radiographers praise students directly and therefore im quite pleased to hear that kind of comment. but that made me more conscious around him as i dont want to spoil the good impression. the bad thing is that on the 4th day of the 2nd week at cgh, one of the senior radiographers suddenly doubted our ability. why he took so long to do this i dont know. i THINK (disclaimer) he went around telling the other radiographers not to let us do cases by ourselves. its quite demoralising really. if its the first day we're there and he's not sure of our ability and he did that to observe us, im fine with it. but its already the second last day and he suddenly did this, that means that must be something we did wrong. and he looked at me for a few moments after i did the supraspinatous outlet view w/o using bucky. its not my fault that i didnt use grid loh, the radiographers there all do non-grid for shoulder. and the image was good loh save for the fact that it was grainy (exposure not set by me). dont know whether it will be another case of bad reputation for our cohort. thanks to the radiographer who defended me.
ok enough writing for the night. one last thing: the special someone is just a good buddy lah. if i dont clear this up, she'll be angry with me :p
thoughts running wild1:36 AM
